A Seasoned Love

I was incredibly privileged to have a quick chat with Pastors Lanre and Tinu Ajanaku from my local parent church. They are such a wonderful couple and a great example of love and faithfulness. It’s endearing to see and learn love from the seasoned veterans in this life journey, as they offer insights through a biblical exegesis of some verses that can aid the single season. These are just a few bible verses that may be likely to cause confusion or raise questions in some of our minds.

Shout out to their seasoned love and for sharing their insights with those of us that are up and coming in this journey! Enjoy the nuggets 🙂

According to Ecclesiastes 4: 9-11, what can we determine to be the benefits of being married?

“9Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 

10If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 

11Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?”

Well firstly, this verse speaks on friendships but ultimately friendship leads to marriage and it highlights one of the beauties of marriage which is the synergy in companionship. For example, when one member of the partnership is down the other can help to support and lift their partner. It takes two to advance progressively. The popular saying states that “If you want to go fast go alone but if you want to go far go with people.”. The strength of marriage is found in that synergy when two people come together to support each other.

This verse looks at the differences that can become an advantage in marriage. Like an extrovert getting married to an introvert, both parties can balance each other well. The differences in relationships can become an advantage in marriage. This is one of the topics we speak about at Dominion Voice Christian Outreach. For example, if two individuals both have strong opinions or are both highly analytical there won’t be any forward movement. Rather, if one is a risk taker and the other conservative with decisions it’ll be easier to make decisions. This means that the two people cannot fall at the same time. Paul here is advocating for friendships, partnerships and relationships in general.

In contrast, 1 Corinthians 7: 32- 35 seems to highlight the benefits of being single?

“32I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.

 33But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 

34His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 

35I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

In these verses of scriptures Paul is addressing the idea of unity within marriage. There is no hard or fast rule about these things. There is responsibility within marriage. It’s a major issue if there is no unity within a marriage. For example, couples having a joint bank account but with no joint heart or united idea on how that money should be spent is problematic. This verse is addressing the topic of responsibility. The situation being described here may not hold much ground if the couple are united. If goals are not aligned then there will be issues and strife in the relationship. Any man not providing for his household is worse than an unbeliever as his sole focus will be divided. The bible says in Isaiah 26:3

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” 

We are able to do multiple things like build a family and raise children and still keep our mind on God.

A little further in verse 35, it states that the things that will help us serve God best is having as little distractions as possible. It talks about the idea of having one mind. It all depends on what will keep our hearts stayed on God. With our mind fixed on Christ, distractions will be minimized.

Last scripture reference is Acts 21: 7-9 What is the significance of this verse?

“7The next stop after leaving Tyre was Ptolemais, where we greeted the brothers and sisters and stayed for one day. 

8The next day we went on to Caesarea and stayed at the home of Philip the Evangelist, one of the seven men who had been chosen to distribute food.

 9He had four unmarried daughters who had the gift of prophecy.”

This reference to Evangelist Philip having “unmarried daughters” is used simply as a descriptor. It shows that the daughters were willing vessels being used by God. The emphasis of ‘unmarried’ could refer to their purity and their purity of mind showing the ease for the Holy Spirit to flow through them.

5 useful tips for Marriage and Partnership

1. Leading of the Holy Spirit. One’s ability to hear and also obey the voice of the Holy Spirit. How does the Holy Spirit speak to you? Figure that out before you enter marriage.
2. Knowledge. You require knowledge of your partner, knowledge of God and knowledge of marriage. You need to continue to grow in knowledge in all these areas. Be aware of what is happening around you and within you, you cannot stay ignorant or be carelessly flippant about obtaining necessary knowledge in these areas.
3. Passion for Jesus. Staying passionate about the things of God will help you stay aligned such that nothing will be able to distract. You’d be able to speak to anyone about Christ.
4. Understanding. This allows you to apply the knowledge you have to help it become profitable to you. Understanding is a gift that can help us understand why our spouse may be behaving in a certain way. Their background or career path can help explain  their response to certain situations. Understanding is what connects knowledge and action together.
5. Prayer. In the place of prayer we place our total dependence on God, knowing that the battle is not to the strong (Ecclesiastes 9:11). There is a need for studying the Word and praying. The ability to be and stay in God’s presence through fellowship and worship.

TWO Things that have helped within the Marital Journey

1. Power of One Voice. Having a united front and learning to default to one decision such that even if we speak different languages (love languages or otherwise), we are still able to come to a consensus on any particular topic and move as a unit.
2. Freedom to Be You. Allowing your spouse to freely be themselves and not trying to conform them to YOUR pattern. We find freedom in our unique expressions. And working to accommodate our spouse such that we allow them to enjoy and find pleasure in things that bring them joy.

Bio:

Pastors Lanre & Tinu Ajanaku are the ministers in charge of the Dominion Voice Christian Outreach which is an outreach ministry that gathers monthly to have biblical based teachings and discussions.

I hope you’ve been inspired by the lessons and insights shared by the seasoned veterans. May all our homes be blessed and may we bring God glory in how we flourish in our relationships.

Amen.

#SeekGodMore

Mo 🙂